How to Worry Friends and Inconvenience People

Never go on a date with a dancer. They always try to pay for things “with a dance”.

After taking money out of a cashpoint, wave it around and exclaim loudly “I won!”

Refer to wages lost due to flu as the “congestion charge”

Answer the questions up to £1000 on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” out loud

Buy a relative progressively cheaper Christmas presents, then, one year, spend five times as much as the year before

Pay people to provide you with above-board information. Eg ask someone for directions then, as you walk off, furtively press a fiver into their hand. Or walk into a shop and ask a sales assistant if they sell a certain thing, all the while letting them see a wad of notes in your inside pocket.