How to Worry Friends and Inconvenience People

Ask commuters at Euston station where you can find the champagne bar

When the automated voice announces your tube stop, say “right, this is me” loudly to other passengers before leaving the carriage with an equally matter-of-fact “thank-you, driver”

Carry around a whiteboard marker and wiping cloth with you when you travel on the tube to edit Travel Update notice boards. You can offer more creative and understandable reasons for delays and line suspensions than the usual batch of signal failures and staff shortages. E.g. “No Service on the Bakerloo line North of Stonebridge Park today due to….[obvious change in handwriting] dinosaurs once again walking the earth”.